Don't Want Don't Want
by Starr Bryte
Summary: A simple question causes Tifa to remember a pleasent memory she would sooner like to forget. Sometimes it's not the people who have died, but the memories you can never go back to ever again. For my friend FogDragon and our mutual love for Numa Numa.


**Dear Reader,**

**Okay... This fic... erm... A few days ago I got together with my friends Everfire and FogDragon. We listened to the song Dragstea Din Tei by O-Zone... What many know simply as Numa Numa... Yeah... The fic we acted out in my car was a lot more humorous than this one, but I was feeling a bit down tonight and it came out weird. So yeah. I'm sorry Foggy, I wanted to make it funny, but it came out sounding tragic. Maybe next time. **

**In this fic Zax is weird... I think it's because I was in Gundam Wing mode and made him act like Duo... Oh well... I also tried to use foreshadowing, but I don't think it worked... Oh well...**

**I wanna hug... sniff... **

**I don't own Final Fantasy VII.**

**I don't own Final Fantasy VII: Last Order. I loved it. It made my cry. Especially the ending which gave me a heart attack. Wow... I am now in love with Zax. **

**I don't own Dragstea Din Tei by O-Zone. **

**Here's to my reviewers. I love you all. IRVINE! Your present is almost done... Same with yours, Foggy... Hopefully this will tie you over until I see you again. **

**I miss you Everfire... Chuu...**

**Stay safe  
Stay healthy  
Sincerely,**

**Starr**

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It wasn't a surprising question. It wasn't even that unexpected given the people involved. He had a right to be curious, especially when it came to the son of his ex-wife. She really wished she hadn't kept that stupid picture. It should've been burned. It should've been long gone. It should've, it should've, it should've. But should've didn't tell her what she should be saying now. Especially with Vincent Valentine staring at her with those Mako red eyes of his, one claw resting gently on the old photograph of a younger Tifa Lockhart standing with a serious Cloud Strife, an excitedly grinning Zax and a bored looking General Sephiroth.

It wasn't a surprising question. What was surprising was how simple it was. How she could practicly hear the almost desperate note of curiosity in his voice. He wanted to know. He had the right to know.

"What had he been like?"

A simple question with a simple, yet utterly complex answer.

"Different." She answered. The quirked eyebrow and confused frown weren't surprising either and the question in those eyes was practicly screaming now for an answer to the new question.

"How so?" Vincent asked the question the exact same way as HE had done all those years ago.

A loaded question deserved a loaded answer and for once Tifa was willing to oblige. She had accepted the past now. She had accepted that the person they had faught so hard against was not the General Sephiroth she had known for most of her life. What would he have been like had he lived? What would Zax and Cloud have been like had they not died?

"Well..."

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"This is Tifa Lockhart. We grew up together." Cloud said, eyes shifted slightly in her direction as he introduced her to his companions.

"Hi!" Zax grinned, giving a salute.

"A pleasure..." Sephiroth added vaguely. Zax made a face.

"Cute girl standing in front of you and all you can say is 'A pleasure'?" He snorted at his superior, "You sir do not get out enough."

"How so?" This was uttered with an incredulously raised eyebrow. Zax rolled his eyes.

"That you even have to ask is answer enough. C'MON sir. We're on leave for at least three days! Smell the fresh air! Look at the hot babes! Go to the local inns and get rip roaring drunk! You do know what fun is right?"

Sephiroth opened his mouth to answer.

"WRONG!" Zax pronounced holding up a finger, "This is a serious matter, sir. One that must be remedied IMMEDIATELY! Miss Lockhart!"

"Yes?" She asked nervously, awed and slightly cowed by the dark haired SOLDIER's large personality. Cloud rolled his eyes heavenward with a pained expression.

"Oh no..." He whispered, so softly she almost didn't hear him. Zax turned and was suddenly smiling charmingly in her face.

"Do you happen to know where the closest Kareoke bar may be located?"

"Eh...?" Tifa gulped. She spared a glance at Cloud who was looking at her with a desperate, pleading look on his face. Her gaze went over Zax's shoulder to the General. Sephiroth looked somewhere between bemused and curious. Zax was staring at her as if the fate of the planet rested on her shoulders.

"Well..." Then she gave the answer she knew she would probably end up regretting.

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She was right.

Being barely of legal age she had refused to drink. Sephiroth would've joined her except that Zax would hear none of it and Cloud? One beer and he was about as drunk as he could get without passing out. Zax looked like he was having the time of his life. He had a good voice. A light, beautiful tenor that hit the notes as if they were targets. He threw himself into each song passionately, belting out the lyrics as if each song were his last. Then he would finish off his drink and go get himself another.

"Ninety-nine luftballons! Ninety-nine Kriegsminister, Streichholz und Benzinkanister, Hielten sich fur schlaue Leute, Witterten schon fette beute riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht, Man wer hatte das gedact, Das es einmal so weit kommt... Wegan ninety-nine luftballons!"

"Hmmmnnnnmm..." Cloud hummed, swaying slightly in his seat, "Prreeetttyyy..."

"Agreed." Sephiroth muttered, seemingly unaffected by the alcohol. It wasn't really a noticable change, only that he seemed more open and willing to participate, although he had yet to sing anything.

"I think you should at least sing one song, or we could be here all night." Tifa ventured, still in awe in the presence of the great man sitting next to her.

"Agreed." Sephiroth sighed and began idly flipping through the song book as Zax continued to sing, his voice softening for the last verse to something between a lullaby and a funeral dirge.

"Ninety-nine jahre krieg, Liessen keinen Platz fur Sieger. Kriegsminister gibt's nicht mehr, Und auch keine Dusenflieger. Heute zieh ich meine Runden, Seh'die Welt in Trummern liegen, Hab' 'nen Luftballon gefunden, Denk' an dich und lass' ihn fliegen..."

Tifa swallowed hard. She wasn't really someone who believed in omens, but Zax's voice mixed with the lyrics of that song and the knowledge of the contained power she was currently sitting with sent chills of unease down her spine.

"_Ninety-nine knights of the air, Ride super high-tech jet fighters, Everyone's a super-hero, Everyone's a Captain Kirk, With orders to identify, to clarify and classify, Scramble in the summer sky, Ninety-nine red balloons go by. Ninety-nine dreams I have had, in every one a red balloon. It's all over and I'm standing pretty, In this dust that was a city, If I could find a souvenire, Just to prove the world was here, And here is a red balloon, I think of you and let it go..."_

"I got one!" Sephiroth slammed his hand on the table, nearly causing her and Cloud to tumble off their seats.

"Got what?" Zax asked, hopping off the stage and setting his empty bottle on the table (one of many).

"Nothing." Suddenly the book was hidden behind Sephiroth's back and an innocently bored look plastered on his face.

"'Wanna see it!" Cloud suddenly said, the first words he'd uttered in nearly an hour. Zax crooked a finger in the General's direction.

"C'mon Sephy, show us what you've found."

"No." The word was firm and Tifa would've let it go, except the tone was utterly petulant. Cloud lunged for the book but Sephiroth stood and held it over his head, his superior height dwarfing Cloud.

"Not fair!" Cloud lunged again and Sephiroth held it just out of reach. Suddenly a blur of black and blue flew over the table and snatched the book out of Sephiroth's hand. Zax landed as gracefully as possible when drunk and had to take a moment to keep the world from spinning out from under him. Then he ran a hand through his hair and squinted at the open page.

"Alrighty then, lessee what the good General wants to sing for us. Hmmm... How interesting. THAT song is it?"

"What's 'that song'?" Tifa was almost afraid to ask. Sephiroth sighed and when he looked up again there was a glint of what she was almost horrified to call 'mischief'.

"Indeed." He said.

"What song?" Cloud asked, looking from one to the other, "What song?"

"'What song?' he asks." Zax mocked tapping the number into the machine, "We all know 'what song'. You sure you're prepared to go all the way?"

"I'm ready." Sephiroth said, nodding determinedly as if he had just accepted a mission of great importance and obvious danger.

"Do you think HE is ready?" Zax asked seriously, flipping the microphone into the air and deftly catching it.

"I believe he is." Sephiroth answered.

"Oh, good, I'd hoped you'd say that." He winked at Tifa, "S'not everyday you get to hear Cloudo-kun sing..."

"WHAT?" Cloud squeaked, suddenly scooting off of his chair and as far away as he could get, "Oh no no no no no no... Nuh-uh... No... No way... Zaaa-aaaax..."

"Nope, sorry Cloudo-kun. The General has decreed it and as a member of SOLDIER it is your sacred honor and previliege to comply. Am I right?" He cocked his head at Sephiroth who nodded seriously. Cloud sighed and looked pleadingly at Tifa.

"Tiii-fffaaaa..." He whined brokenly. Tifa shook her head. She loved Cloud, but this was too much fun. Besides, who was to say he would remember it in the morning with the stuff he had consumed tonight?

"Sorry Cloud." She said, mock-sadness dripping from her voice, "But I'm just a civilian, it's not my place to interfere."

"YES!" Zax crowed, grabbing Cloud into a headlock and dragging him onto the stage. Sephiroth followed with a little more decorum. There was silence as they went into a huddle, dolling out the parts and Tifa began to look forward to it, finally ordering herself a drink. It wasn't everyday a girl was serenaded by three high ranking members of SOLDIER. The great General Sephiroth included. After a few moments a decision was made and Cloud was pushed into the foreground, blushing so hard his freckles dissappeared. Tifa smiled encouragingly as the music began and Cloud sang in a slightly cracked falcetto, but that was probably due to nervousness, or at least that was what Tifa hoped.

"Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haa-haa, Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haa-haa." Then Zax joined in, his tenor augmenting Cloud. Gaining confidence from Zax, Cloud's voice steadied as Sephiroth joined in confidently, his voice a low, even sound.

"Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haa-haa, Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haa-haa." Then Sephiroth was pushing to the forefront, green eyes twinkling with laughter and confident smirk on his lips.

"Alo. Salut." He gave a mocking salute to Tifa who couldn't help but grin, "Sunt eu un haiduc. Si te rog iubirea mea primeste fericirea." Zax jumped in, grinning widely, voice shaking with laughter.

"Alo. Alo. Sunt eu Picasso Ti-am dat beep." He placed a finger to his chin and raised an eyebrow in time to the electronic tone making Tifa laugh, "Si sunt voinic Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic." His hand shot out and he grabbed Cloud by the scruff, dragging him back into the chorus.

"Vrei sa placi dar nu ma nu ma iei, Nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma nu ma iei. Chipul taw si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai." The second time around Zax began to dance and poor Cloud, still being held by the neck had to either join in or get jostled around. Sephiroth stood out of range and seemed to be the only one taking it seriously. But then again, he was a very serious person. He gestured and his brows were creased with concentration and Tifa realized that he was taking the song very seriously and wondered, not for the first time, if there was someone Sephiroth cared about. The thought caught and held through the rest of the song and she found herself staring at the silver-haired general as the last part came to an end. Cloud was blushing crazily and refused to meet her eyes. Zax was laughing so hard she thought he was going to throw up and Sephiroth pushed his long hair out of his eyes and gracefully returned to his seat. The rest of the night went as such with Zax entertaining everyone else with his presence and Cloud falling asleep on her shoulder. Sephiroth seemed at ease for the first time since she met him. A smals smile twirked his lips and she felt almost at ease in his presence.

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It was late when they finally left. Cloud could barely walk so Tifa and Zax half carried, half dragged him down the street. First his head would loll onto Tifa's shoulder, then it would loll onto Zax. The dark haired SOLDIER was in an incredibly good mood and cheerfully talking about the headache he would probably have tomorrow and how Cloud would be the worst. Sephiroth led the way, his pretty shiny hair glinting in the moonlight with each graceful smooth step he took.

"This is your house, isn't it?" He asked, coming to a stop. Tifa was surprised and for one frightening moment wished that the night wouldn't end. Once the sun came up and Cloud recovered from his hangover they would go back to being SOLDIERs.

"Yes." She said, then, "We should do this again... It was fun..." Zax laughed.

"Yeah. When we get some time off, we should." He glanced at Sephiroth, "Whaddaya think, fearless leader? Did you have fun? Wanna do it again sometime?" Sephiroth turned slowly and smiled. Tifa was struck then by how beautiful he was. His cat eyes glimmering in the dark and his pale skin and shiny pretty hair and dark leather uniform. Unearthly beautiful. Unhuman. His eyes met hers and he smirked.

"Yes..." He said softly, "Sometime..." And then he continued on. Zax sighed and rolled his eyes.

"There's your answer. For what it's worth, I had fun and I know Cloudo-kun had fun too, didn't ya Cloudo?" Cloud mumbled and burped softly. Zax laughed until tears appeared in his eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said. He smiled at her, "It was nice meeting you, miss Lockhart. I hope we can come back and do that again. I know Cloudo would look foreward to it." Tifa ducked out from under Cloud's arm and smiled.

"Take care getting back. Take care of Cloud... I know he'd do the same for you." She said. Zax smiled and looked down fondly at his charge.

"Yeah... He's a good guy... Don't worry, I'll take good care of him. SOLDIERs vow." Giving her a mock salute and a smile he turned and followed the shrinking form of Sephiroth in the distance, absently singing to himself.

"Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei, Nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma nu ma iei. Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai."

Shaking her head at them Tifa turned and entered her home, leaving the night and the three SOLDIERs behind.

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She didn't see or hear from them again for three week. Then, suddenly and without explanation or warning, Sephiroth wandered into town. Only it wasn't the Sephiroth that Tifa remembered. It wasn't the Sephiroth that had sang and smiled and joked around. It was a monster wearing his face and Tifa knew that SOLDIER, the thing that made Sephiroth who he was, was to blame for it all. Shin-Ra had taken the things most precious to her and twisted them into monstrosities who cried out for a mother who could not hear them. If there was one thing Tifa regretted, it was for not killing Sephiroth when she had the chance, even if it killed her. But then, she would argue with herself, maybe it was telling Zax she hated him simply because he was SOLDIER. Maybe if she hadn't said that she wouldn't have felt so terrible when she learned he had died keeping his promise to her. He had protected Cloud and had continued to protect Cloud long after he had died. She had done no such thing.

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Vincent had left hours ago. To the waterfall, he had said. Tifa had given him a lot to think about. But he hadn't seemed pained, merely surprised. She hoped that it would do him some good to realize that the son of Lucrezia hadn't been evil, merely replaced by it. That there had been a good man inside of Sephiroth, had it been given a chance. Just like Vincent. She reverently put the photo back in it's drawer where she wouldn't have to look at it. It still hurt. She wondered if Cloud even remembered that night. Glancing at her watch she yelped. It was getting late and she hadn't even started supper. Thumping down the stairs she paused when she heard Cloud in the kitchen, already starting the food. But what made her smile was that he was softly singing to himself, not even aware of what he was doing.

"Ma-ia-hii, ma-ia-huu, ma-ia-hoo, ma-ia-haa-haa. Ma-ia-hii, ma-ia-huu, ma-ia-hoo, ma-ia-haa-haa."

Perhaps he remembered after all...

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Miya-hee  
Miya-hoo  
Miya-ho  
Miya-ha-ha

Hello, greetings, it's me, an outlaw,  
I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.

Hello. Hello, it's me, Picasso,  
I sent you a beep, and I'm brave  
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.  
You face and the love from the lindin trees,  
And I remember your eyes.

I call you, to tell you what I feel right now,  
Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness.

Hello. Hello. It's me again, Picasso,  
I sent you a beep and I'm brave  
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't wan to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.  
You face and the love from the lindin trees,  
And I remember your eyes.

Miya-hee  
Miya-hoo  
Miya-ho  
Miya-ha-ha

You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.  
Your face and the love from the lindin trees,  
And I remember your eyes.


End file.
